Entry 3. (originally posted 1 Jul 2007)

trust. faith. hope. love. happiness.

The things we all spend our whole lives searching for and very few of us capture their essence.

I used to trust everything and everyone. I used to trust myself. but as I grow with all the challenges I've faced I no longer am strong enough to put my faith in someone else let alone myself. So many people have let me down. I let myself down almost every day. I didn't do this, try that, or accoplish what I set out to do. How can I trust other people not to let me down when I can't even trust myself right?

I have faith that things will eventually turn out the way they were planned. I've learned to take things as they come and live life day by day. I've always made such big plans, I used to have my whole life set. yet with time and struggle came failure. I don't take failure to well. I no longer make plans on how to live or what to acheive. I plan to live and thats all. I put faith in small things because I then don't let myself down as much. I have faith the dodgers will win the world series. and i have alot of time to see that happen. I have faith in my relationship with the most perfect boy in the world. and I plan to be with him forever. And i have faith that i will one day be successful I just stopped planning how that was going to happen.

I hope I learn enough to make life easier on myself. It's tough living in constant struggle but it's easy to hope for the best. I hope every day to meet the person or people that can change my life.
And I believe I've come across a few of those people.
I hope i've changed someone else's life. I hope i've made my parents proud and set an example for others.

I love life. The sense of being alive, sharing it with others, learning who I am and who I might become. I love, love! the greatest feeling is knowing you have someone there to support you in all of your decisions. someone to pick you up when you fall and raise you higher when your off the ground. I love the relationships you can build with others to where you can learn to trust them.

and here we are at the beginning again. when you hope to love, you can love, and when you love you can trust and when you can trust I have faith you can be Happy.

Theres my thoughts for tonight.

I miss you my love, with every second that passes i feel more alone than ever. You are my world and I can;t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.


-lindsay