killing yourself to live

I would like to start by informing you that I am typing this via my phone so please excuse any typographical errors because im just not that concerned to re read and edit a blog written on a 2 inch screen.

so im reading this book by chuck klosterman who I have decidedly labeled my hero. I fell in love with his writing after my first encounter with sex drugs and cocoa puffs. (again please disregard punctuation abandonment as well) ANYWHOO. this book I have become utterly obsessed with is killing youself to live. a story of chuck himself traveling across america to visit places in which rock greats have deceased. seems strange to say the least but his writing is incredibly infatuating. I have yet to read a book I feel incapable of putting down that makes me laugh out loud and want to write my own novel about the same random, irrational and utterly meaningless to everyone but myself life experiences. until now. I encourage everyone to check this book out. and while your at it sex drugs and cocoa puffs is a good read as well.

other than my literary infatuation, music has taken a huge interest in my current life as usual. im excited to share that I got the spill canvas scraps lp in the mail yesterday and its amazing. nothing sounds better than your favorite band on vinyl. not only is 'no really, im fine' another irresistible album from the lyrical master himself, nick thomas but it has a second album with a live song two acoustics and 5 unreleased tracks. I didn't think I could fall more in love with this band. oh. but I did. not to mention that i ordered two. one purely for listening pleasure and the other in hopes of getting the vinyl signed by the band and framing it as a art piece that will go down in the history of music greats. in my mind that is.

I also ordered la rocca's 'the truth' on vinyl. listen to this record. I urge you. it will change your life. I got a confirmation email that it has been sent and it made my day. not only because of my excitement to listen to this album on vinyl with all its packaging perks of artistic value, but the email told me to 'rejoice!' because its in the mail and what my 'friggin' tracking number was. in those words. which I found to be humorous and rekindled my admiration of people with a sense of humor. touche shockhound.

ANYWHOO. so i come to you via 2 inch phone screen because I am currently sitting in what i like to call educational hell. which brings me to the irony of my tuesday thursday schedule. my 8am class is quite possibly the best class i have ever taken in this 5 plus year college career of mine. i could be gravely mistaken seeing as it's only the third week of school and the first week consisted of one day in which i recieved an overview of the syllabus. but either way maybe thats what makes this class so great. the fact that i have decided in such a miniscule amount of time that it is the best class i have ever taken. you see the irony in this is that it is at 8 oclock in the morning which we all know is a higher being commonly reffered to as god taking a shit on students sleeping patterns. to continue the irony of the day i have an hour and 45 minute break between what i socall consider my favorite class and the class i currently reside in previously noted as educational hell. an hour and 15 minutes of redundant lecturing by a guy that enjoys the sound of his own voice entirely to much. all accompanied by a 95 dollar reader (printed paper bound in green construction paper of 12 articles i'll probably never read) and online tests, meaning my participation in brain activity isnt necessary. so after the best class ever i have over an hour to wait for the worst class ever. talk about killing all anticipation. and for one final shot at ironic events, after this i will head straight to work, a mundane task to say the least in which it is part time and not geared towards capturing my utmost interest, followed by soccer practice where i get to play the game i love with some of the greatest people i know. strange how i can participate in so many things that reside on the opposite sides of my self actualization scale all in the same day. twice a week.

and that is where i leave you my friends. a great novel. even greater music. and a rant on self pity filled irony.

enjoy it or not i at least impressed that i typed this entire thing via treo palm pro. all hail the full qwerty keyboard.

in the words of arnold and his most memorable performance. 'ill be back'

lyndzzz

puppy trails.

i feel good. i hope brooklyn does too.

i set her up at a vet today. she got her second set of shots. an appointment for her third and info about nippin the ovaries. no little brooklyns roaming the street any time soon.

we. and by we i mean i. also bought her more food. more denta bones. a new toy (like akiylas that she keeps stealing, so she'll have her own) and a bright red leash and collar. sdsu colors of course. and just like her mama, baby looks good in red. oh and we got a doggy tag for her.

basically she's hooked up and my bank account is well hurtin.

anywhoo this was basically just an excuse for me to post aomething about my pride and joy and show the world my little monster.

she likes layin inbetween our legs...

over an out

im still lyndzzz

its like things have never changed

So I log onto this thing to talk a little about my first day of school and how its almost surreal thats its coming to an end, and upon first glance of my home page, my good friend steph (whom i'm devoutly blog following) has written about the same thing.

I've known this girl since like 1st grade. way back when we decided to make our own greeting card company called caragan and young card co. (yeah we lacked in catchy company titles at age 6) either way our plan, as far back as I can remember, was to go to school for advertising and work together. And hey, thus far we're on the right path. different universities but similar degrees and of course headin in the same career path with the same goals and objectives for our future. so 16 years later it's like nothing has changed between us except physical location

so come on steph! head to san d with me and lets get that card co. under way.

anyway. back to the original stint of this blog.

in the words of adam sandler in one of his well recognized role of billy madison "back to school. back to school. to prove to dad that im not a fool. i've got my lunch pack packed my boots tied tight, i hope i dont get in a fight. ooooh back to school."

Spring 09' well under way and I must say it's not gonna be half bad. So yeah im a super senior and i have to go 5 days a week starting at 8 am, but as i always like to remember, theres a positive in everything. My 8am professor may very well be the coolest professor i've ever had. Super funny, casual esk persona, and to the point. couldnt ask for more except an interesting subject. oh wait it has that too. sex in film and literature. so basically i have an awesome dude teaching me about porn for 16 weeks. lets just say after complaining about it being in the wee hours of the morning i'm a happy camper.

moving into the rest of my course load, turns out i have 3 classes with some good buddies of mine and ran into a bunch of my soccer girls throughout the day. so this is going to be a seemingly super semester. all alliteration aside.

as the first day of school was approaching i prepared as usual, printing out my class schedule and for you fellow san diego staters, my timetable format. yeah you know what i'm talkin about. as well as generating my degree evaluation to see where i stand as a student. it was crazy to see this time only having 2 red negative signs showing incomplete work in which i am currently enrolled in to fulfill. shit. 5 years have come and gone just like that. yeah 5 years. dont talk shit. thats average. either way i'll be entering this real world they've been telling me my whole life about. i dont know how i feel about being forced to grow up n such. hense why im stickin out another semester in the fall to play a little more soccer and postpone my adulthood a little longer. don't tell my father, but yes, i very well could have graduated this semester!

oh well. for now i'm really enjoying school and i want another national championship dammit!

signed sincerely

lindsay

so i havent written in a while. i mean ive written. i write something every day, whether it be a bajillion texts or a random thought i try to write something every day. something that makes me think about something else persay... or something to look back on and laugh about.

so anyway. i havent written on here in a while. and well heres why. we just got internet back for one. i mean i had internet in my room every so often that i strategically stole from the neighbor. and by strategically i mean placing my computer as close to the window as possible to reach a wireless signal.

ok ok so thats a poor excuse for the writing enthusiast i am to take such a long break from writing. especially since life has been chaos. I will warn you before you endure the painstaking minutes it may take to read this entire piece. this will be the blog that looks back on the past few weeks of absence and forward to the next couple weeks of excitement.

school just ended for the winter break, and let me tell you, the fall semester is always my favorite. why? soccer. duuuh. now this season was a rollercoaster. not only did i but heads with my coach like every opportunity we had too but we won so many games we shouldnt have and struggled more than you would believe only to finish with another successful run. it was so strange. we barely made it out of regionals this year, and im talkin about a team that won nationals in 06 and came in second last year. and this years roster was soooo much better than 06 its unreal. or at least i think so. so for us to struggle like that is well, may i repeat... strange. we went to pk's twice in regionals alone and lost two major games in golden goal overtime. dont know what that is. well lets just say it blows. anywhoo to make a long story short we came in like fifth this year losing in quarterfinals against penn state. one of the most painstaking moments i have ever endured really. i made a mistake. i lost a little faith in my defense a second to early and suffered the consequences of a loss. now dont get me wrong it wasnt entirely my fault, as it was no ones imparticular but i wanted and tried so intently to do everything within my power to win. and win. and win. for cassidy. because i knew the second we lost her career would be over (graduating) and well to be completely honest not only is she one of my best friends but I have never played with someone as great as her. yeah. great. not the best adjective ever but its all i have at the moment.

you see with cassidy i have spent the greatest moment in my life thus far. i mean i've had some pretty awesome moments. but with her i have shared the moment that we both worked our entire lives for and that alone trumps any other moment. 18 years of practice. 18 years of failures and successes. all highlighted in one moment. one moment of greatness. and the best thing about it. not only sharing it with my best friend is that i have it captured in a photo. how many people can say that they have the best moment in their life in a frame on their wall. i can. and i couldnt feel luckier to be able to relive that moment with every glance. and its moments like this one that i have spent with cass that completely changed the person i became on and off the soccer field this season. I no longer played the game for myself. i saw this favorite pastime of hers and mine fade away, i saw her try to grasp every second of it knowing that it would all be over with the blink of an eye. and that look on her face inspired me to fight through the struggles we had this season. and although we ended short of a national championship. short of another moment to revel in for the rest of our lives i have become a better person because of the one great season and the mediocre one full of struggle and defeat. i have learned that sometimes taking the time to better myself can impact those around me. even if it means just playing harder to win one more game for a close friend holding on to the game we love. i also learned, and you may not have grasped it yet with my focus on winning thus far, but winning games isn't what this experience is all about. its about making friends with the people that will inevitably change your life. becoming a role model to those that will follow in your foot steps and creating moments that fulfill the empty space in our hearts.

this season was great! no we didnt win anything special.and yes we had our moments of despair. but this season posed as one of the most memorable seasons of my life. we grasped each moment as if it was our last and because of that we highlighted each night as the best night we have all spent with each other. not only that but the young ones this year brought something more than the kiddies have ever taught me before. their carefree spirit and eagerness to learn and develop relationships with me was inspiring to be kinder. to care more for others well being, to take care of them which would in turn take care of me. I've fought endless internal battles and yet as i took these girls under my wing and gave them the tips to do things differently than i did. to enjoy it more and avoid the things that would tear them up later. those were lessons that i took in for myself as well, and for that have become a better person. one little freshy is the spitting image of myself 5 years ago. same dorms, long distance relationship, homesick, big dreams and almost enough drive to see them through. its surreal really. to see yourself in someone else like that. now I truly believe in the statement i wish i knew then what i know now. and because of that i will continue to guide her the best that i can.

so yeah, this wasnt the best season of my life, and it wasnt the most successful this team has ever seen, but I can guarentee i will never forget it.

ok. so i drafted this post and came back to it weeks later. sorry. im having a bit of writers block lately... so lets move on to what has happened since

first boo bought me the pup of my dreams for christmas. ha. he could have gone about it a little better, you know asking my 3 roommates what they thought about having a puppy (sorry guys) but so far everything has turned out great and well shes my little bundle of joy. theres my little bugger ------>
she is well. perfect. you know only i would say that. oh yeah and guess who came with her. BOO! no not like what people withwhite sheets draped around them would say. Jeremy patrick Bamsey. you know the love of my life. yup its true world. he's finally here. and well i have enjoyed every minute of it thus far. im sure we'll have our tiffs now and then but thats what i bought him xbox 360 for haha. keeps him busy.

anywhoo, so that was no phenominal ending to what started out as a fetching blog but i need to take a nap before truck tonight sooooo

until we speak again

im still lindsay

oh yeah

WELCOME TO OFFICE OBAMA!

i do not recall this lecture!?!

So all this prop 8 battling going on via myspace, facebook, youtube, whatever should probably start to fade out considering whats done is done.


We are all aware of who was for and against gay marriage. and it was pretty damn close if you ask me, so i wouldn't go off rallying that "california has spoken" considering there was no overwhelming landslide.


I personally voted no on prop 8 for the mere fact that sanctity in marriage doesn't even exist in the first place. Please don't try to argue with me that it does because I'll most likely disagree and nothing will be solved.


What's my argument you ask?

- a projected 40-50% of american marriages will end in divorce

- 11% of the adult population is currently divorced.


- 25% of adults have had at least one divorce during their lifetime.


- Divorce rates among conservative Christians were significantly higher than for other faith groups, and much higher than Atheists and Agnostics experience.


(aren't these the "conservative Christians" that continuously preach to me and everyone about the "sanctity" in marriage that will be tainted if a man has the right to marry a man? ironic?)

although most dictionaries will define marriage as the legal union between a a man and a woman who establish their decision to live as husband and wife, the way I see it, it's a social institution that is very flawed to say the least.


the truer definition behind marriage, in my eyes, is two people sharing love for each other and signifying that commitment through ceremony.
someone please tell me how gay marriage depletes the sanctity in that??

i'm sure i'll receive a whole crap load of bible mumbo jumbo to this because homosexuality isn't accepted by god and what the fuck ever. so thats your argument. that the sanctity in marriage is that it is a religious ceremony recognized by god, right?? you mean the only person that can judge other people ("only god can judge me") well unless one of these easter's holds true and he comes back to earth and tells me otherwise i'm here to believe that no one here can judge anyone else and "god's" not really here to tell you otherwise.


marriage is a damn piece of paper recognized by the state. isnt there a separation between church and state. so if your argument is religion based you can sit on it cuz there's my rebuttal.


the biggest issue i have here is everyone, so clearly, voted for "change" but is so goddamn afraid of it. the hypocrisy is ridiculous really. don't celebrate obama's victory to me and then be afraid to accept something new, something different, something that will probably only bring good to this social institution we like to call marriage anyway.


whew. theres my venting for you. like I said. take it for what it is.


and for the record, im not judging my friends or family that feel differently on the subject than me. I dont really choose the people I love purely on their social and political beliefs.
my thoughts on it are to leave it alone, or you might lose some friends in the process,

and like I said. whats done is done. and to all my gay friends, I'll fly to massachusettes to witness something much more pure than the "sanctity" in marriage.


it's love baby. its all about love.
why can't we just leave it at that?

oh and one more thing.


when you were a kid, when the fuck did they teach you about marriage?? i do not recall this lecture!

church and state. keep that line of separation folks.


until we speak again

i'm still lyndzzz

his shirt was tucked into what???

So this is my random blog about the recent festivities. ill satrt with my trip to washington mutual.

I was quite aware that north park was full of eccentric people, to say the least, when I moved here, but this was a visit to the bank way out of the ordinary. first i was uber excited over the ideal parking spot i managed on 30th street, not the most parking friendly street in san diego. anywhoo all excitement aside i walk into this wretched place that controls my money. i say it like that because i like to push my inability to manage my own money that turns into hundreds of dollars of overwithdrawl fees frustrations on the bank rather than myself. anywhoo, im filling out my deposit slip when im approached by a guy who has taken his hair combing tips from don king and has the smell of pf changs dumpsters, you know little fishy little chinese foody. delicious really?!?? he asks me the time... twice... then if he could make a deposit without his ATM card because strangly enough while living on the street its hard to keep track of such a shiny piece of plastic.

finally that conversation so rich in interest was ended when the teller called him up. it was then i noticed the man standing in line behind me. so he was wearing sweats, no big deal right cuz, well i'll be honest, so was i. but unlike myself his hoodless matching sweater was tucked in to his elastic band tightie whities. thats right. not into the sweats or untucked for that matter but into his underwear in which his sweatpants were pulled a bit lower ensuring the clear sight of this fashion catastrophe.

finally we have a woman wearing one of those full track suits. black withpink pinstriping around the sleave and collar cuffs. i provide such a distinct description for the pure enjoyment of what the rest of her outfit provides. there was a hole in the ass of the pants. you know not anywear to not be noticed. right on the cheek. oh but she was quite aware or at least i assume so seeing as she was wearing matching pink underwear in case anyone, like myself, noticed the hole, but refrained from judging becase at least she matches!

keep posted. im sure there are many more strange encounters through my trecks of north park.

Mosquito punching and washing dishes.

so apparently the west nile virus has hit a few folks in the north park area. you know. where i live. craaaazy. so call me paranoid but i bought some bug spray. mostly because my luck is about as good as paris hilton keeping her legs closed, so i would totally be the kid on her bike to ride right through a pack of west nile mosquitos. I mean i would definitely throw down some face punches on those fuckin mosquitos but one would most likely get me right in the nose. so not only would i have west nile but id have a mosquito bite on my nose, which will most likely itch so bad my scratching would turn it into a total face rash turning the entire situation into pure turmoil. 

so i bought bug spray.

and for the most part im staying in doors. 

indoors is boring. so i washed the dishes. all 13 thousand of them. yeah there are four of us, a little sink, and biiiig appetites. so there are always like 13 thousand dishes. and i washed all of them. my fingers are still pruny. eww i hate wrinkled fingers. they make this rubbery noise if you rub them together. ahhh it bothers me just typing it. 

tournament this weekend. we came in second. as usual. haha we're always number 2 until it counts. ucsb ill see you at regionals bitches. your goin down. im hurtin though. shit it was 5 rough games in way to little of time. bruised and battered=understatement. i had a blasty though. cass was hilarious all weekend. i miss her. and well a weekend with those girls is always the best time ever. i really got to know some of the newbies too which is awesome. i looove getting to know new kids. you can never have enough buddies. plus for some strange reason some of the best people i ever meet are from this team. and so far that has held true. 

im excited for the next weekend of shenanigans and wins. 8-1-1 aint too shabby my friends. 

one tree hill=love. soapnet is my savior. 

out.

lyndzzz